I want to begin by writing our story.  Our love story.  It all began in May of 1991. 

     We were just teens.  Juniors in high school.  We never expected to fall in love.  We would have laughed if you said we would be married and have 6 kids, but that is exactly what God had in store for us. On July 23, 1993 we were married and the adventure began.

 

     Life was never easy.  We struggled.  We had times when we didn't know if we would make it as a couple, but God made sure to keep our hearts weaved together through it all.  He never let either one of us walk away.  God reminded us that we were brought together by Him and we could handle anything as long as we kept Him first in our lives.  

     Throughout our marriage we endured many trials from financial issues to the loss of our baby son Caleb in 2006.  We never had a perfect life, but we had each other. We fought hard to get through all the hardships of life, and at the end of  each day we always chose to keep fighting for the blessings in our lives.  It was worth it all. 

     We never imagined the ultimate test of our marriage would be the last 2 years of our lives together.  Suddenly all those bumps in the road were nothing compared to the mountain in front of us.  Mike was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. 

      It was August of 2021.  Nothing could have prepared us for this.  I will never forget that day.  Our hearts were broken.  I remember laying in our bed just holding each other while crying out to God.  WHY?  We didn't understand.  

      That day we had a choice to make.  We could get angry at God and walk away from our faith or we could take up the cross in front of us and march into battle.  I'll be very honest and say that Mike was my rock at that point.  He always pointed me towards Christ and His love and mercy.  We both prayed and decided to have faith in God's plan even though we did not understand.  

     Over the next 2 years we would have many times where our faith was shaken.  It was like being on a roller coaster. So many ups and downs.  Sometimes I felt like my head was spinning.  We never knew what news we would have to face at each appointment but Mike would always remind me to have faith in God and His plan and timing.  I remember thinking to myself that this man I married so many years ago was such a strong, courageous man of God. I had never seen this side of him before.  He was getting physically weaker but spiritually stronger with each passing day.  

     Mike walked the walk.  He didn't just talk the talk.  He showed me what true trust in God looked like.  He didn't waver.  He always helped me to see God's hand in it all.  Even those final days, he would say  "I am going home"  He never used the word die.  He knew this wasn't the end.  This was his new beginning.  

      It has been almost 4 months since Mike went home to be with Jesus.  I have had days where I have screamed.  I have had days where my faith felt so far away that I wasn't sure I would make it back.  Just being real with you all.  It takes just one moment for God to remind me that HE IS HERE with me.  He has not left my side.  He will lead me home just as He lead Michael home on July 26, 2023. All He asks is that I keep believing on and trusting in Him.  

      I am starting this blog so I can be real with you about grief and how God can heal us through it all.  I am just starting so you will be on this journey with me.  I know God has a good plan for me even on days I feel like a broken mess.